Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Round 3: Tutti!

16/11/2011,

This will become a major milestone in the future when looking back upon the past successes of lifetimes. May this final score movement to the sonata of the academy finish up in a grand and boisterous motion!

Mental note: write up achievements list

..........AND SO IT HAS ENDED! FK YEAH!!!!!!! lol!

My personal achievement list:
√ 33 Exams
√ Ate all the fried chicken on campus
√ Ate all the pizza on campus
√ Met a person from every faculty
√ Wasted first year in the pool room + point blank
√ Lost and found USB again
√ Rocked up to exam without ID card and wallet
√ Left exam 1 hour early
√ Went through highschool without getting a single non-whole-class detention
√ Never wagged a class all through to the end of high school
√ Stayed and crashed overnight in Bld 26 Labs
√ Taught, and been taught in the same uni
√ Carpooled with Dad to uni(LOL)
√ Travelled to uni via my own car, friend's car, bus 742/737/the huntingdale one, walked by feet from wellington/springvale
√ Joined uni clubs of academic, social, activity types
√ Played violin in front of menzies (although very quiet) and up in grain express
√ Bought salt and spicy fish and ate with friend's rice
√ had epic pumpkin soup on campus

√ ... to be continued

Monday, November 14, 2011

Round 2: FIGHT

Professor GAY vs Student

*Plays guile's theme*

EDIT:

MASTER GAY THREE HUNDRED MARK EXAM???

Also forgot my wallet at an exam for the first time, thought i would get ousted rofl but it all went well towards the end.

10 minutes left: everyone was racing and turning pages and scribbling

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Round 1: IKUZEE

ALRIGHT LET'S DO THIS!

MAD SPRINT FOR THE LAST TIME!

Trusty Bag + Jacket, please work wonders!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

lulz

OMG. I SEE IT. I CAN SEE IT NOW!

Monday, November 7, 2011

129

...Hours left

.
.
.
.


EEP!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Potential idea...?

Dear world,

I thought about this the other day - what if someone designed a way to "store" the compliments coming from others and able to release them day by day to you and not 'expending' it all in one go, wouldn't everyone be able to stay happy and positive and confident for a much longer time?

Friday, November 4, 2011

Lest we forget.

In honour of the ongoing tradition for remembering the valiant efforts of the men (+women) of past. Dont' forget to drop by your local shopping centre and buy a poppy from a veteran/their family members!

In relation to this topic, I must say I love reminiscing, to the point that even while looking back at failures of life it feels enjoyable.

Overhearing mum's talk with my aunt commenting on my relationship status was not comforting. Seems she has mighty expectations of me in that I am not incapable of getting into a relationship, oh dear how she will be disappoitned.

Sorry my fellow readers, but while I am over the whole girl hate/rage phase I have to say it feels as if I was using that as an excuse to shield myself away from this relationship business. At a recent gathering with friends all was going well, jolly jokes and friendly and hilarious doodles all across walls, smashing down american honey and eating lots of chicken wings - life just couldn't be better, until the realisation that there is certain truth pertaining to jokes that people make.

Of notice one of the cartoons someone drew was a troll-face of "forever alone" and some captions of "that guy will never get a girlfriend" So I thought about this: the reason why people joke about certain things is because they intrinsicly believe in the joke's inner truth, but are too afraid of hurting others in saying it.

I asked another friend while in a drunken state why "they" drew things like that, and I was told because they enjoy my reaction towards it. My reaction is: I'm not mad at anyone, I really am - even though I feel sad as it is yet another reminder of one of the areas in life which I failed continuously at.

Certain friends play the "encouraging" card and try to persuade me to go back into "the game" but I gotta say, I've come to understand a few things about my core character and personality that absolutely do not work with the current social state of the dating market.
  • I am not an Extrovert - meaning I don't enthusiastically go out of my way to talk to girls at generic places where they get "picked up"
  • My appreciation of reviewing the past and immersing myself with reminiscence will keep me firmly stationed at the friend zone and I can't move on
  • My firm belief of helping people in need no matter who they are or what benefit/cost it is to me concretely locks me into the role of "sideline guy"
  • OK this one's a mystery to me as I don't poke my nose into this topic and it's just purely embarassing to talk about - I don't really share the same urges of the whole "sex" thing, different sources have given me different impressions on how young people operate in relationships relating to sex but I have no idea as I come from the conservative race of Asians.
  • I simply can't have extended conversations with poeple over a continuous contact of over 6 or 7 hours. I NEED A BREAK from them. Heh, so much for thinking I'm good at commitment.
  • My instinct is to place myself in first priority, dead centre of attention - as such, I probably can't take care of the other half or project that selfless role needed in a relationship
  • I always start my meetings with people on a pure and natural friendship - apparently females sort guys out into the potential/friendzone types straight away, which means I'll always been in the friend zone
  • I am cheap. and proud of it! - major turn off as I have heard, sorry but this ain't changing because I get enjoyment out of being cheap. I want people to know that however a conundrum exists because I am willing to spend every last dollar and my sweat and blood and dedicate all my time to a person - only if they prove worthy of it and I can be sure of that. I guess the world doesn't work like that. Have to risk losing that money to check whether they are the worthy one, lol.
I'm not being entirely emo about this - just analysing the profile from 3rd person.

Some chick friends say all these things (dw I'm not into them so it's not utmost tragic) like "oh you're so nice" and "you're husband material" - honestly all a load of crap lol. They don't know what I am like, how ignorant these females are. All I can give is honesty, moral uptightness, a little bit of humour, complete and utter loyalty (if it ever gets to the stage), financial security, sense of responsibility and duty, family-focused mentality and crazy geek passions. I won't have any height, muscle or fashion sense though.

I looked back at some old archives of what happened last time - I have to say I am so disgusted at myself for what I have done, I was stupid, being an idiot, completely ignorant and unaware of the things as I got blinded hard by my head-over-heels state. Anyways, that's the last we will see of it - sorry to disappoint mum, but I can't guarantee you grandchildren - you'll have to look to your other more useful son for that.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Stuck in IT.

Oh maaaaaaaaan. After all that's happened I thought I had improved. Darn banks, why have you have all upped your standards so high? What does it take to punch through into the industry?

Kind Regards,

Wishful Finance Graduate.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Subjugated Interactions

So after some question posting and busying myself with some TVB episodes, I acquired an urge to write a small post.

How is it wrong to keep helping and be nice to a person even though your intention has changed since the beginning? I understand that from another's perspective that I am "being used", but does that make it justified if I am simply cool with it? How is this different from helping the people who you meet which you became good friends with?

Why must the "past" always be there to haunt us in the future? Why can't people see and understand that times have changed and the interaction is now different to before? Or are human beings just truly nostalgic creatures who will always be affected by past emotions and memories?

But also a good question to ask myself is, "why do you still bother?"

I came up with the proposal that maybe I want to show the world that I am not that type of realistic person who will stop doing nice things for people even though my interest in them has ceased, especially if it's the opposite gender. I don't think of it as a practical "benefits" vs "cost" thing, it's just a uni-directional love of helping people and leaving as many positive memories for people as long as I can before my time on this Earth runs out. I feel this is a very bad attitude, we can change this. I want to hold that innocence tightly, and hope people don't look down on me or speak ill of me.

Sure, my decision may deem me the "loser" of the struggle, but in the end, as long as we are happy with our lives and can be responsible of our actions, there really isn't any shame.

Monday, August 29, 2011

1 bps = $24????

Fock. Marking to market and excel spreadsheets. wtf you ask us to calculate a value in the column by subtracting a cell from 100? after that what's the use of it? goddam your vagueness! WHY IS THERE NO MARGIN CALL?!?! need more basis points.

nooooooooooooooooooooooo

I must be doing wrong.

Damn it's due Friday.

EDIT:

2/3 of assignment done... well actually more like 1/3 since the last part is a bitch/monster to do... HEDGING FUTURE CONTRACTS ARGH. DAMN YOU S&P/ASX200!!!!!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Time Limit

Life is short and wonderful. It teaches many lessons, of what is wrong and right, of what is good and bad. It also shows us what we are proficient at, and other areas which we are not.

People were born with dreams and hopes for everything, but as we journey and travel through time, we realise we some of these dreams may not be fulfilled - but we don't give up on life, we merely re-shape our ideals and ambitions so that we can live in another purposeful way, keeping that flaming spirit burning brightly from within. It is a sad true fact that I have progressively discarded goal upon goal to reach my current state of progress, but on the bright side, I have fewer things to focus on and more energy to invest into those few things - hopefully being able to outperform others.

It is sad that in life there exists "opportunity cost", but in the end what was missed out does not matter - the only things that matter is what you have done, what achievements you have made, and by what standard of integrity you were able to keep with the people who exist in your life. As mentioned before, I do hope I can channel my sweat and blood into the increasingly small number of things I potential left to excel in. Hopefully I can outperform others in the few things that I do best - at least I won't end up as a jack of all trades.

From my younger years, I used to have different goals and targets in life. But now I have changed, some call it being cynical, some call it growing up and maturing towards this life of "realism". The notion that I die alone is no longer an impossibility - as unfair as the statistics show, I may die younger by a significant amount of years - but that doesn't matter. I have long accepted the ideal of natural selection: if I die earlier, then that means I have fulfilled my role at that point in time and the world no longer needs me. This is not to say that I am going to throw away my life, I will still live on resiliently, reaching for the stars, going out to bring "Net Positive" to society. Even if the life I lead will be short, at least it will be a productive and meaningful life.

Even within a shorter Time Limit, I hope to do greater things and provide a greater net return to society than others who may live a longer life.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

FOREVER ALONE

So I was like just "flicking" (I should say scrolling actually) through some facebook photos from the beginning of my account which people have tagged me and a thought just came to mind. As you all know I am one of those cases of "forever alone" in terms of relationships but I can see some light in this position is that whenever I see all these old photos, I harbour absolutely no hard feelings whatsoever. In fact, I can kinda just look at them with a smile on my face or burst out laughing at my ridiculousness from all the stupid things I did. I'm glad I haven't (at least to my knowledge) turned any of my friendships sour. So maybe it's just me and my different perspective.

O.K.

Better get back to studying!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Special people!

In NO PARTICULAR ORDER (I stress) I'd like to make some proud announcements and declare some sincere thanks for people who have taught me what seems like insignificant lessons but I have remembered DEARLY.

1. Mum for passing on genes and upbringing to prevent a future of complete poverty :)
2. Dad for providing a mould for me to inherit the spirit of "altruism" and the way of "enlightenment"
3. The one and only "Bro" for pointing out how I was selfish and bringing awareness to me about others and also acting as an awesome inspiration for the word "generosity"
4. PDN for opening up the adventurous world out there for me and granting me the chance to meet so many amazing people
5. Momotsuki for lecturing me on many things harshly including not driving off immediately after dropping off a friend
6. noutenki for reminding me about the lessons of humility and manners, as well as the lesson of being indecisive will cost me
7. "the hulk" for teaching me priorities in helping people and committment
8. impactaoi for challenging me in things that I say and teaching me to be more careful or research more before claiming things
9. koodawg for showing me how to be epic in owning people
10. the L.O.L (or ex L.O.L) for being a fackn realist and troll, teaching me the tricks of the trade
11. "mini" for proving that I have the ability to make someone laugh and that I am likeable
12. kindy for raising up issues with my principles in dealing with people and pointing out the flaws of being "by the book"
13. limbert for the relevations of the "deeper and darker sides" of friendship circles
14. malex for the opportunity to challenge friendship and withstand the test of time and test of distance
15. sandroid for giving me the chance to meet someone unique and genuine and understanding and provide a different perspective on things
16. pjays, cc, and many others for reminding me appropriate ways to treat females (lol)
17. SGJ for pointing me in the right direction in conflict resolution and the darker side of relationships
18. to the sheilas out there whom I have disappointed, thank you for giving me the experience to learn something rewarding and important that will stay with me for the rest of my life
19. yeye for being the mighty steed that radiates out pride, strength and endurance and passed on the lesson of tackling the issue not the person
20. dawei for the epic pep talks and the "5 second rule"

+ there are many more out there, and it will be realistically too long to write it all down, but just want to let you all out there know that i take you all seriously and I take on board with me what you all have given me, even the slightest, most minute details of life.

Thank you all for being wonderful people who have consistently and continuously pushed me bit by bit, day by day, inch by inch, and allowing me to evolve beyond the person I was in each prior moment! Little by little I advance a bit further with each turn! and just like how a drill works, will one day PIERCE THE HEAVENS!

*cue Happily Ever After - TTGL*

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Grace Period

Ok so my friend Grace just had her birthday party, but this post is more so about a period of peaceful times that I am able to immerse myself in.

Feel so good because:
  • No pressure
  • No obligations
  • No committments
  • Can waste time like however I wish - BEST FEELING EVER
  • Reminiscing good times
  • Feeling VERY lucky and fortunate to be in my current position
  • EXCITED about next semester's units (yes i'm a huge nerd)
Few things on my mind however:
  • My patience is being tested (in putting up with people, god i'm anal)
  • Getting lazy with my greatest enemy - EXERCISE
  • Do I need to start hopping back into the game/scene soon? (still feeling bitter about it though, and honestly feels like a waste of time)
  • What do people REALLY think about me? (though I try to think the best of people, am I just a bother?)
  • Am I being more and more of a contradiction to what I claim myself to be?
  • Might rage quit job soon hahahaha!
  • How can I get the extra 20%? Not just stop at 80% (yep, words stolen from a friend) I WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY! but i'm friggin lazy lol

Friday, July 1, 2011

Attrition

Today I realised something very important:

3 strikes and you're out - no, sometimes 2 strikes is all it takes to lose a good friend.

I am so ignorant.

*Depressed*

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I Cannot Sleep

Dear readers, (if there are any left still out there)

I am confused, cold, afraid, troubled, conflicted, worrying.

Words from a friend which I weigh heavily when hearing opinions has completely knocked me off balance.

I only obtained some good news this morning (technically last night) but now I'm feeling compeltely distressed instead. I don't know what to do. I don't want to step into the wrong path, not even one step. I don't want to waste time. I need counsel. I don't have much time to make this decision. ARGH!

I just want to yell out REALLY LOUDLY or play my violin with huge pressure on the bow and just grind it, but alas, it's late at night and everyone is sound asleep.

Reality check:

* CFA exam in 4 days, fudge.
* I have to contact some ppl tmr, argh.
* It is currently way too cold, i'm gonna get frostbite...?
* This decision is due in 6 days

Sorry yet another negative post, many people in my position would be overjoyed, wtf is wrong with me? WHY AM I FEELING SO confused and lost?

I wanted to reach for the stars and one day touch them. Right now I'm stuck between decisions that I don't know where they will lead to. I'm afraid that I will have wasted more time and need to take yet another detour to ultimately reach my goal. Why is it taking so long? Why am I not being successful on the first try? I am over-achieving, I stand out, I strive to work hard, is this the stupid thing called fate? Throughout the last few months I've come to realise some of these ordeals are related to elements of "fate" but I still refuse to admit I'm a weakling. Why am I only getting the same amount of recognition when I clearly have done more in the past? Where's my reward for that? Surely I may be asking for too much.

Save me... another friend's suggestion isn't working... I can't meditate... I'm only thinking more and more...


ARGH. ><!

Why am I so indecisive on my own?

Monday, March 21, 2011

Curious Thought - Social Politics

Few things that came across my mind as of recent (though have always really been appearing from time to time):

  • Social Politics (Especially in friendships)
  • Fickleness
  • Lack of commitment to words (i.e. dismissing things easily)
  • People using and abusing others via words (don't take me for an idiot)
Like I sometimes feel I am either too tolerant or do not take notice of the internal disputes and dislikes within friendship circles. When people reveal to me about these things I am really surprised.

Am I just too optimistic? =D If so I would rather stay the tolerant way I am. Sure we all make crude jokes, but saying them behind someone's back and fully meaning it is really really bad. We must be fair with our comments. How do people get ticked off so easily by all these things? lol, grow up you kids.

I really do believe in talking straight all the time and not needing to make up excuses to people. If only everyone could be honest and straight, that would make the world a much, much better place.

All these "behind the scenes" acts is so silly, trivial, immature and childish. Only say things if you mean them. Heck - if you're gonna snob someone, snob them completely and boldly. Some of you out there know you are committing these moral crimes out there and should just admit you are doing such things and do it full-heartedly.

For those of you out there who are true to yourself, massive THUMBS UP to you! Let's keep this world clean and free of lies and deceit!