So after some question posting and busying myself with some TVB episodes, I acquired an urge to write a small post.
How is it wrong to keep helping and be nice to a person even though your intention has changed since the beginning? I understand that from another's perspective that I am "being used", but does that make it justified if I am simply cool with it? How is this different from helping the people who you meet which you became good friends with?
Why must the "past" always be there to haunt us in the future? Why can't people see and understand that times have changed and the interaction is now different to before? Or are human beings just truly nostalgic creatures who will always be affected by past emotions and memories?
But also a good question to ask myself is, "why do you still bother?"
I came up with the proposal that maybe I want to show the world that I am not that type of realistic person who will stop doing nice things for people even though my interest in them has ceased, especially if it's the opposite gender. I don't think of it as a practical "benefits" vs "cost" thing, it's just a uni-directional love of helping people and leaving as many positive memories for people as long as I can before my time on this Earth runs out. I feel this is a very bad attitude, we can change this. I want to hold that innocence tightly, and hope people don't look down on me or speak ill of me.
Sure, my decision may deem me the "loser" of the struggle, but in the end, as long as we are happy with our lives and can be responsible of our actions, there really isn't any shame.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
1 bps = $24????
Fock. Marking to market and excel spreadsheets. wtf you ask us to calculate a value in the column by subtracting a cell from 100? after that what's the use of it? goddam your vagueness! WHY IS THERE NO MARGIN CALL?!?! need more basis points.
nooooooooooooooooooooooo
I must be doing wrong.
Damn it's due Friday.
EDIT:
2/3 of assignment done... well actually more like 1/3 since the last part is a bitch/monster to do... HEDGING FUTURE CONTRACTS ARGH. DAMN YOU S&P/ASX200!!!!!
nooooooooooooooooooooooo
I must be doing wrong.
Damn it's due Friday.
EDIT:
2/3 of assignment done... well actually more like 1/3 since the last part is a bitch/monster to do... HEDGING FUTURE CONTRACTS ARGH. DAMN YOU S&P/ASX200!!!!!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Time Limit
Life is short and wonderful. It teaches many lessons, of what is wrong and right, of what is good and bad. It also shows us what we are proficient at, and other areas which we are not.
People were born with dreams and hopes for everything, but as we journey and travel through time, we realise we some of these dreams may not be fulfilled - but we don't give up on life, we merely re-shape our ideals and ambitions so that we can live in another purposeful way, keeping that flaming spirit burning brightly from within. It is a sad true fact that I have progressively discarded goal upon goal to reach my current state of progress, but on the bright side, I have fewer things to focus on and more energy to invest into those few things - hopefully being able to outperform others.
It is sad that in life there exists "opportunity cost", but in the end what was missed out does not matter - the only things that matter is what you have done, what achievements you have made, and by what standard of integrity you were able to keep with the people who exist in your life. As mentioned before, I do hope I can channel my sweat and blood into the increasingly small number of things I potential left to excel in. Hopefully I can outperform others in the few things that I do best - at least I won't end up as a jack of all trades.
From my younger years, I used to have different goals and targets in life. But now I have changed, some call it being cynical, some call it growing up and maturing towards this life of "realism". The notion that I die alone is no longer an impossibility - as unfair as the statistics show, I may die younger by a significant amount of years - but that doesn't matter. I have long accepted the ideal of natural selection: if I die earlier, then that means I have fulfilled my role at that point in time and the world no longer needs me. This is not to say that I am going to throw away my life, I will still live on resiliently, reaching for the stars, going out to bring "Net Positive" to society. Even if the life I lead will be short, at least it will be a productive and meaningful life.
Even within a shorter Time Limit, I hope to do greater things and provide a greater net return to society than others who may live a longer life.
People were born with dreams and hopes for everything, but as we journey and travel through time, we realise we some of these dreams may not be fulfilled - but we don't give up on life, we merely re-shape our ideals and ambitions so that we can live in another purposeful way, keeping that flaming spirit burning brightly from within. It is a sad true fact that I have progressively discarded goal upon goal to reach my current state of progress, but on the bright side, I have fewer things to focus on and more energy to invest into those few things - hopefully being able to outperform others.
It is sad that in life there exists "opportunity cost", but in the end what was missed out does not matter - the only things that matter is what you have done, what achievements you have made, and by what standard of integrity you were able to keep with the people who exist in your life. As mentioned before, I do hope I can channel my sweat and blood into the increasingly small number of things I potential left to excel in. Hopefully I can outperform others in the few things that I do best - at least I won't end up as a jack of all trades.
From my younger years, I used to have different goals and targets in life. But now I have changed, some call it being cynical, some call it growing up and maturing towards this life of "realism". The notion that I die alone is no longer an impossibility - as unfair as the statistics show, I may die younger by a significant amount of years - but that doesn't matter. I have long accepted the ideal of natural selection: if I die earlier, then that means I have fulfilled my role at that point in time and the world no longer needs me. This is not to say that I am going to throw away my life, I will still live on resiliently, reaching for the stars, going out to bring "Net Positive" to society. Even if the life I lead will be short, at least it will be a productive and meaningful life.
Even within a shorter Time Limit, I hope to do greater things and provide a greater net return to society than others who may live a longer life.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
FOREVER ALONE
So I was like just "flicking" (I should say scrolling actually) through some facebook photos from the beginning of my account which people have tagged me and a thought just came to mind. As you all know I am one of those cases of "forever alone" in terms of relationships but I can see some light in this position is that whenever I see all these old photos, I harbour absolutely no hard feelings whatsoever. In fact, I can kinda just look at them with a smile on my face or burst out laughing at my ridiculousness from all the stupid things I did. I'm glad I haven't (at least to my knowledge) turned any of my friendships sour. So maybe it's just me and my different perspective.
O.K.
Better get back to studying!
O.K.
Better get back to studying!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Special people!
In NO PARTICULAR ORDER (I stress) I'd like to make some proud announcements and declare some sincere thanks for people who have taught me what seems like insignificant lessons but I have remembered DEARLY.
1. Mum for passing on genes and upbringing to prevent a future of complete poverty :)
2. Dad for providing a mould for me to inherit the spirit of "altruism" and the way of "enlightenment"
3. The one and only "Bro" for pointing out how I was selfish and bringing awareness to me about others and also acting as an awesome inspiration for the word "generosity"
4. PDN for opening up the adventurous world out there for me and granting me the chance to meet so many amazing people
5. Momotsuki for lecturing me on many things harshly including not driving off immediately after dropping off a friend
6. noutenki for reminding me about the lessons of humility and manners, as well as the lesson of being indecisive will cost me
7. "the hulk" for teaching me priorities in helping people and committment
8. impactaoi for challenging me in things that I say and teaching me to be more careful or research more before claiming things
9. koodawg for showing me how to be epic in owning people
10. the L.O.L (or ex L.O.L) for being a fackn realist and troll, teaching me the tricks of the trade
11. "mini" for proving that I have the ability to make someone laugh and that I am likeable
12. kindy for raising up issues with my principles in dealing with people and pointing out the flaws of being "by the book"
13. limbert for the relevations of the "deeper and darker sides" of friendship circles
14. malex for the opportunity to challenge friendship and withstand the test of time and test of distance
15. sandroid for giving me the chance to meet someone unique and genuine and understanding and provide a different perspective on things
16. pjays, cc, and many others for reminding me appropriate ways to treat females (lol)
17. SGJ for pointing me in the right direction in conflict resolution and the darker side of relationships
18. to the sheilas out there whom I have disappointed, thank you for giving me the experience to learn something rewarding and important that will stay with me for the rest of my life
19. yeye for being the mighty steed that radiates out pride, strength and endurance and passed on the lesson of tackling the issue not the person
20. dawei for the epic pep talks and the "5 second rule"
+ there are many more out there, and it will be realistically too long to write it all down, but just want to let you all out there know that i take you all seriously and I take on board with me what you all have given me, even the slightest, most minute details of life.
Thank you all for being wonderful people who have consistently and continuously pushed me bit by bit, day by day, inch by inch, and allowing me to evolve beyond the person I was in each prior moment! Little by little I advance a bit further with each turn! and just like how a drill works, will one day PIERCE THE HEAVENS!
*cue Happily Ever After - TTGL*
1. Mum for passing on genes and upbringing to prevent a future of complete poverty :)
2. Dad for providing a mould for me to inherit the spirit of "altruism" and the way of "enlightenment"
3. The one and only "Bro" for pointing out how I was selfish and bringing awareness to me about others and also acting as an awesome inspiration for the word "generosity"
4. PDN for opening up the adventurous world out there for me and granting me the chance to meet so many amazing people
5. Momotsuki for lecturing me on many things harshly including not driving off immediately after dropping off a friend
6. noutenki for reminding me about the lessons of humility and manners, as well as the lesson of being indecisive will cost me
7. "the hulk" for teaching me priorities in helping people and committment
8. impactaoi for challenging me in things that I say and teaching me to be more careful or research more before claiming things
9. koodawg for showing me how to be epic in owning people
10. the L.O.L (or ex L.O.L) for being a fackn realist and troll, teaching me the tricks of the trade
11. "mini" for proving that I have the ability to make someone laugh and that I am likeable
12. kindy for raising up issues with my principles in dealing with people and pointing out the flaws of being "by the book"
13. limbert for the relevations of the "deeper and darker sides" of friendship circles
14. malex for the opportunity to challenge friendship and withstand the test of time and test of distance
15. sandroid for giving me the chance to meet someone unique and genuine and understanding and provide a different perspective on things
16. pjays, cc, and many others for reminding me appropriate ways to treat females (lol)
17. SGJ for pointing me in the right direction in conflict resolution and the darker side of relationships
18. to the sheilas out there whom I have disappointed, thank you for giving me the experience to learn something rewarding and important that will stay with me for the rest of my life
19. yeye for being the mighty steed that radiates out pride, strength and endurance and passed on the lesson of tackling the issue not the person
20. dawei for the epic pep talks and the "5 second rule"
+ there are many more out there, and it will be realistically too long to write it all down, but just want to let you all out there know that i take you all seriously and I take on board with me what you all have given me, even the slightest, most minute details of life.
Thank you all for being wonderful people who have consistently and continuously pushed me bit by bit, day by day, inch by inch, and allowing me to evolve beyond the person I was in each prior moment! Little by little I advance a bit further with each turn! and just like how a drill works, will one day PIERCE THE HEAVENS!
*cue Happily Ever After - TTGL*
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Grace Period
Ok so my friend Grace just had her birthday party, but this post is more so about a period of peaceful times that I am able to immerse myself in.
Feel so good because:
Feel so good because:
- No pressure
- No obligations
- No committments
- Can waste time like however I wish - BEST FEELING EVER
- Reminiscing good times
- Feeling VERY lucky and fortunate to be in my current position
- EXCITED about next semester's units (yes i'm a huge nerd)
- My patience is being tested (in putting up with people, god i'm anal)
- Getting lazy with my greatest enemy - EXERCISE
- Do I need to start hopping back into the game/scene soon? (still feeling bitter about it though, and honestly feels like a waste of time)
- What do people REALLY think about me? (though I try to think the best of people, am I just a bother?)
- Am I being more and more of a contradiction to what I claim myself to be?
- Might rage quit job soon hahahaha!
- How can I get the extra 20%? Not just stop at 80% (yep, words stolen from a friend) I WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY! but i'm friggin lazy lol
Friday, July 1, 2011
Attrition
Today I realised something very important:
3 strikes and you're out - no, sometimes 2 strikes is all it takes to lose a good friend.
I am so ignorant.
*Depressed*
3 strikes and you're out - no, sometimes 2 strikes is all it takes to lose a good friend.
I am so ignorant.
*Depressed*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)