Today would have been an averagely cool day before 3:30 pm. After 3:30pm it was totally different. Tracking back towards the reason why I came home sulking on the 2nd day of work, today that same reason made me smile all throughout the day.
This reason is knowing someone so skillful, kind and smart and humorous at the same time. Usually you would think they would only have 3 out of the 4 traits above. This person has absolutely deserved all the good news that he gotten today. Even in these dark times and crisis, he managed to pull out strong. First landing a job with IBM through a formal graduate position procedure netting him $56,000 a year starting out. He then got another two replies from PwC and Coles at the same time. Even though there was a feeling of jealousy within me, I just couldn't stop smiling at him, as well as with him.
I always knew he had it in him. This guy managed to single-handedly impress a senior systems engineer with just a tiny script. He is more knowledgeable than any of the past IBLs before. Not only that, he really knows how to apply the things that he learns. He is an efficient and effective worker at the same time. This guy is confident, has people skills, has all the technical skills, and fits in well along with the whole corporate culture. I could not possibly thank him more just to be able to get to know him.
It really puts a smile on my face hearing such good news about people. On the way back home I also saw a girl jump up and hugged her dad and then piggy backed on him. So much happiness all around. I think I've really found out what makes me the most happy... it's possibly seeing people around me smiling and beaming out with innocent laughter.
I will mark this day as both an annoying day (due to my supervisor's last minute requests), a hilarious day (with Chris Sculthorpe at work who even gave us free speakers!), the SMS server crashing and causing us to be unable to do work there, as well as a celebratory day for mister Sean Quagliani for his success after success in his career starting point.
Signed,
Friday May 29th, 2009.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
25/05/2009 - 3:00 AM
Greetings all..
I just want to confess that I've awakened from my worst nightmare that I've had since i was a young kid at the age of 8 or so.
When I came to my senses of being clearly awake, I found myself uncontrollably streaking with tears. The reason is because I was having a dream where I'm standing in this type of art gallery display with drawings and photos pinned up against a wall. I can't remember the exact details but it was a pencil drawing on a piece of lined paper... The picture had seagulls (the one-lined ones like in comics) flying towards a great big ocean with the massive Sun setting in the background. On that picture was a caption and it was something along the lines of "I wanted to ask him another question, but he never came back". Tears began to well up in my eyes in the dream and for some reason I just carried the thought that my dad had died. I turned around and my brother was standing next to me too... we were both in suits and ties and he had his arm on my shoulder. It was all so silent. I just couldn't stop hiccuping. Then all these images and memories of my dad just came flashing through my head. I was crying uncontrollably and started yelling out lines like "why did you go so soon?", "I wanted to ask you so much more", "I wanted to write a book about you". It then later turned into muffled cries of "give me back my dad" and "bring him back" while I just sobbed through what seemed to be eternity.
I was then somehow awake lying in my bed facing the ceiling with tears just pouring down my face. I felt scared. I felt cheated. I didn't want to get up from the bed as I was afraid to find what I have woken up to a different and darker reality than yesterday. My knowledge of the fact that my dad has Hepititas B and was a person who would help strangers to no end didn't comfort me at all. This is because of all the recent attacks and shootings/stabbings that have been going on where a person tried to help out a stranger in public but ended up dead in the hospital or in worst cases, immediately vanishing from this world.
It's been around 45 minutes now and it has made me realize how much I truly do love my dad and mum and how I still idolize them in my lives. Looking back there have been times when I just left my dad alone and went to play fucking dota while he was dining by his lonesome self outside. I really hope later today when the Sun rises that it will be back to the reality continued from yesterday. Waking up from this nightmare really made me realize how much I neglected my parents even though I have been an obedient son.
I guess intimacy just never was a big thing in our family. My brother and I hardly ever hug our parents. Last time my mum kissed me on the cheek was like 6 years old. I guess we've really grown out of it and become a real serious family altogether which probably is far more sensible than others.
I definitely need to rethink my priorities and the way in which I spend time that I have remaining with a whole and complete family (God please forbid, I don't want this happen until I have no regrets). I definitely shouldn't be wasting time on stupid video games while they are awake. I need to talk to them, learn more about them than I already do. I want to be able to write a book about both of my parents and mark down in history the greatness that they've achieved.
I really really look up to my father for not only his incredible intelligence and achievements, but also the calm state of mind that he can practically always be in. I also entirely admire him being physically able and have the expertise and knowledge on doing so many handy-man jobs such as building garages, replacing the heater/ducts in the house, drill holes and push LAN cables through the ground so it's invisible, install air conditioners, help people build balconies and sun roofs and so much more.
I recently told him how I full-heatedly respect and admire the fact that he managed to pay off his house loan at an early age and be able to move on the typical temptations of human beings; not jealous of others wealth, fame, appearances, cars, size of their houses and lust. While some may argue that there is no true altruism in this world, I would think my father's overwhelming willingness to help people around him and not doing it for any profit or materialistic advantage truly sets him apart being the embodiment closest to what I would call altruism.
There was this one time when we went shopping at box hill. I just walked in across a set of automatic doors and my dad bolted in right away to go help an old English lady who just tripped and fell down on the escalator. We had an important appointment with the orthodontist after school but he dropped everything that he was doing at the time to first help the lady up, then spend the next 15 minutes comforting her and making sure that she was standing properly while the old lady's daughter came back to join her. It's experiences like these that are forever etched in my mind representing so much that I believe in and what my morals are built and based upon. Hopefully you readers out there can understand this is where my stubborn and silly morals come from.
He has a few sayings which in my mind, fully sets him apart from any other man that I know of...
"It doesn't matter what car a person drives, if they end up crashing then their BMW is as good as a piece of junk"
"You ask me why I pursue knowledge over anything else? That's because anything else can be taken from you. Money, clothes, cars, houses, fame, power, copyrights. Knowledge is the one thing that they cannot easily steal from you."
Not only is he enlightened and like a friendly neighborhood hero in my eyes, he is also possibly the most dependable person on Earth even without a mobile phone. It's true that in recent 2 years he has finally succumbed to rarely using his mobile, but he used to always say: "I do not need a mobile phone, I am a mobile person". This line doesn't only put a smile on my dial, but also just shows the amount of confidence that he has in himself. Surely he comes across pretty arrogant at times, but that's because he has the knowledge and credentials to back himself up with.
I would have told a few friends in the past, but that scene when I first went back to Hong Kong is always vivid in my mind. Those hands of mine were burning from the scratches that I just got. But when I looked up my father's warmth made me forget all the pain and bleeding.
Come to think of it, there are little nit picky things that I can single out which I feel more regret and guilt about than anything to do with a girl I liked/loved in the past.
There is this tiny little decoration piece that my dad keeps in his room in his shelf. This little decoration is like a rocking horse, except there is no horse and it's a little boy angel with wings that rocks backwards and forwards. This would be a memento of my childhood memories with my dad. One of the wings are bent because of my playful nature when I was a kid. I really wish I could go back into the past and not do that.
What I want to ultimately express is that I am awesomely proud of my father for who he is and will love him and the things that he does until the day that I die, and hopefully in the afterlife too (if there is such thing).
I just want to confess that I've awakened from my worst nightmare that I've had since i was a young kid at the age of 8 or so.
When I came to my senses of being clearly awake, I found myself uncontrollably streaking with tears. The reason is because I was having a dream where I'm standing in this type of art gallery display with drawings and photos pinned up against a wall. I can't remember the exact details but it was a pencil drawing on a piece of lined paper... The picture had seagulls (the one-lined ones like in comics) flying towards a great big ocean with the massive Sun setting in the background. On that picture was a caption and it was something along the lines of "I wanted to ask him another question, but he never came back". Tears began to well up in my eyes in the dream and for some reason I just carried the thought that my dad had died. I turned around and my brother was standing next to me too... we were both in suits and ties and he had his arm on my shoulder. It was all so silent. I just couldn't stop hiccuping. Then all these images and memories of my dad just came flashing through my head. I was crying uncontrollably and started yelling out lines like "why did you go so soon?", "I wanted to ask you so much more", "I wanted to write a book about you". It then later turned into muffled cries of "give me back my dad" and "bring him back" while I just sobbed through what seemed to be eternity.
I was then somehow awake lying in my bed facing the ceiling with tears just pouring down my face. I felt scared. I felt cheated. I didn't want to get up from the bed as I was afraid to find what I have woken up to a different and darker reality than yesterday. My knowledge of the fact that my dad has Hepititas B and was a person who would help strangers to no end didn't comfort me at all. This is because of all the recent attacks and shootings/stabbings that have been going on where a person tried to help out a stranger in public but ended up dead in the hospital or in worst cases, immediately vanishing from this world.
It's been around 45 minutes now and it has made me realize how much I truly do love my dad and mum and how I still idolize them in my lives. Looking back there have been times when I just left my dad alone and went to play fucking dota while he was dining by his lonesome self outside. I really hope later today when the Sun rises that it will be back to the reality continued from yesterday. Waking up from this nightmare really made me realize how much I neglected my parents even though I have been an obedient son.
I guess intimacy just never was a big thing in our family. My brother and I hardly ever hug our parents. Last time my mum kissed me on the cheek was like 6 years old. I guess we've really grown out of it and become a real serious family altogether which probably is far more sensible than others.
I definitely need to rethink my priorities and the way in which I spend time that I have remaining with a whole and complete family (God please forbid, I don't want this happen until I have no regrets). I definitely shouldn't be wasting time on stupid video games while they are awake. I need to talk to them, learn more about them than I already do. I want to be able to write a book about both of my parents and mark down in history the greatness that they've achieved.
I really really look up to my father for not only his incredible intelligence and achievements, but also the calm state of mind that he can practically always be in. I also entirely admire him being physically able and have the expertise and knowledge on doing so many handy-man jobs such as building garages, replacing the heater/ducts in the house, drill holes and push LAN cables through the ground so it's invisible, install air conditioners, help people build balconies and sun roofs and so much more.
I recently told him how I full-heatedly respect and admire the fact that he managed to pay off his house loan at an early age and be able to move on the typical temptations of human beings; not jealous of others wealth, fame, appearances, cars, size of their houses and lust. While some may argue that there is no true altruism in this world, I would think my father's overwhelming willingness to help people around him and not doing it for any profit or materialistic advantage truly sets him apart being the embodiment closest to what I would call altruism.
There was this one time when we went shopping at box hill. I just walked in across a set of automatic doors and my dad bolted in right away to go help an old English lady who just tripped and fell down on the escalator. We had an important appointment with the orthodontist after school but he dropped everything that he was doing at the time to first help the lady up, then spend the next 15 minutes comforting her and making sure that she was standing properly while the old lady's daughter came back to join her. It's experiences like these that are forever etched in my mind representing so much that I believe in and what my morals are built and based upon. Hopefully you readers out there can understand this is where my stubborn and silly morals come from.
He has a few sayings which in my mind, fully sets him apart from any other man that I know of...
"It doesn't matter what car a person drives, if they end up crashing then their BMW is as good as a piece of junk"
"You ask me why I pursue knowledge over anything else? That's because anything else can be taken from you. Money, clothes, cars, houses, fame, power, copyrights. Knowledge is the one thing that they cannot easily steal from you."
Not only is he enlightened and like a friendly neighborhood hero in my eyes, he is also possibly the most dependable person on Earth even without a mobile phone. It's true that in recent 2 years he has finally succumbed to rarely using his mobile, but he used to always say: "I do not need a mobile phone, I am a mobile person". This line doesn't only put a smile on my dial, but also just shows the amount of confidence that he has in himself. Surely he comes across pretty arrogant at times, but that's because he has the knowledge and credentials to back himself up with.
I would have told a few friends in the past, but that scene when I first went back to Hong Kong is always vivid in my mind. Those hands of mine were burning from the scratches that I just got. But when I looked up my father's warmth made me forget all the pain and bleeding.
Come to think of it, there are little nit picky things that I can single out which I feel more regret and guilt about than anything to do with a girl I liked/loved in the past.
There is this tiny little decoration piece that my dad keeps in his room in his shelf. This little decoration is like a rocking horse, except there is no horse and it's a little boy angel with wings that rocks backwards and forwards. This would be a memento of my childhood memories with my dad. One of the wings are bent because of my playful nature when I was a kid. I really wish I could go back into the past and not do that.
What I want to ultimately express is that I am awesomely proud of my father for who he is and will love him and the things that he does until the day that I die, and hopefully in the afterlife too (if there is such thing).
Friday, March 20, 2009
A-Z of life in 2009!
Hello my fellow readers! I've decided to use this morning to dedicate to all my loyal friends and readers a few slices of my life described by the alphabet that we all know and love...! =D
A - Answers/Applications
B - Bananas / (BLUEVO) / Brother
C - Car
D - Daily Logs
E - Eyesight
F - Father
G - Gaming
H - Health/Hot Chocolate
J - Job
I -
K -
L - Laziness
M - Mother
N -
O - Organization
P - Pains/Problems
Q - Questions
R - Relationships/Reluctance
S - Sleeping Patterns
T - Table Tennis
U - Underdog (at work)
V - Violin
W - Wins/Warcraft
X -
Y -
Z -
--Unpublished chronicles 20/03/2009
A - Answers/Applications
B - Bananas / (BLUEVO) / Brother
C - Car
D - Daily Logs
E - Eyesight
F - Father
G - Gaming
H - Health/Hot Chocolate
J - Job
I -
K -
L - Laziness
M - Mother
N -
O - Organization
P - Pains/Problems
Q - Questions
R - Relationships/Reluctance
S - Sleeping Patterns
T - Table Tennis
U - Underdog (at work)
V - Violin
W - Wins/Warcraft
X -
Y -
Z -
--Unpublished chronicles 20/03/2009
Monday, November 3, 2008
Random statement of the day
I just want to mark it down here that my views on relationships will continue to be Innocent, Pure and Naive. I know there's a lot more to take into consideration and the topic is infinitely complex, but I've decided to just not think about that stuff at all until I hit rocks and obstacles. Sorry but for me, no matter how much people say to me to make me more cautious and mature, I will always continue to have a simple and honest outlook. This innocence is part of who I was, I am and what I hope to continue to be.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
something so easily achieveable, yet much overlooked...
"a state of well-being and contentment"
"a pleasurable or satisfying experience"
"good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy."
"the quality or state of being happy."
Happiness, something that probably is very easily achievable, but much overlooked.
--Unpublished chronicles 1/11/2008
"a pleasurable or satisfying experience"
"good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy."
"the quality or state of being happy."
Happiness, something that probably is very easily achievable, but much overlooked.
--Unpublished chronicles 1/11/2008
Reality Check
Today I had a rather unpleasant feeling.
Although to me it was rather distant and remote, I for the first time witnessed in real life someone receiving a terrible message out of the blue.
From a simple unsuspecting phone call, a day of planned concentrated and highly efficient study transformed into a rather depressing day, though I somewhat question whether or not I have the right to be sad. Having someone you know find out about their friend passing away is definitely not the type of news that anyone would want to hear.
To me, up until today those bereaved of close friends or family due to car accidents was only a part of the ongoing media in the news. It never hit me that something so unsuspecting can happen so suddenly, and turn the world upside down for some people.
I feel guilty and useless in general. I could not say or do anything to comfort, partly due to me not knowing much about the bereaved friend's friend. I wish I was able to do something genuine and not cliche or "the things that anyone does since it's what people are meant to do". How can I be Vincent Ma and still provide some comfort or assistance? I felt really bad. I hope that silence on my part was at least not harmful to this friend's state of mind.
I guess this is also a sort of wake-up call to us all as well. Nobody knows about what is going to happen is the future, full of mysteries, surprises, shocks and unsuspecting news. Today when the home phone rang, I felt a sense of fear, thinking that something would have happened to something I know as well. I really should be prepared for things like these, huh?
The sheer notion and thought of something so unfortunate is unbearable, so I shall stop this post here and now.
Back to exam study...
* * *
As of last night, I managed to something somewhat useful and helpful for that friend, and I could sleep a lot better...
but I still feel somewhat unsettled...
Must concentrate on exam revision...
Although to me it was rather distant and remote, I for the first time witnessed in real life someone receiving a terrible message out of the blue.
From a simple unsuspecting phone call, a day of planned concentrated and highly efficient study transformed into a rather depressing day, though I somewhat question whether or not I have the right to be sad. Having someone you know find out about their friend passing away is definitely not the type of news that anyone would want to hear.
To me, up until today those bereaved of close friends or family due to car accidents was only a part of the ongoing media in the news. It never hit me that something so unsuspecting can happen so suddenly, and turn the world upside down for some people.
I feel guilty and useless in general. I could not say or do anything to comfort, partly due to me not knowing much about the bereaved friend's friend. I wish I was able to do something genuine and not cliche or "the things that anyone does since it's what people are meant to do". How can I be Vincent Ma and still provide some comfort or assistance? I felt really bad. I hope that silence on my part was at least not harmful to this friend's state of mind.
I guess this is also a sort of wake-up call to us all as well. Nobody knows about what is going to happen is the future, full of mysteries, surprises, shocks and unsuspecting news. Today when the home phone rang, I felt a sense of fear, thinking that something would have happened to something I know as well. I really should be prepared for things like these, huh?
The sheer notion and thought of something so unfortunate is unbearable, so I shall stop this post here and now.
Back to exam study...
* * *
As of last night, I managed to something somewhat useful and helpful for that friend, and I could sleep a lot better...
but I still feel somewhat unsettled...
Must concentrate on exam revision...
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Whatever recollection i have left of it:
vincema - IT in Orgzzzz [3/12] says:
lol man
i had a fkn weirdass dream
you know that guy "aishiteru" from bored aussies
lol apparently i was at some uni or something with him
and then
it was at night
we entered the first security door of some building
and then some black man
was a security guard
came in and told us to get out
or something
we ignored him
so we enetered the next door
next thing we know, some military dudes shoved us against the wall with these plastic inflated air bags
and said
listen to orders we don't want anyone getting hurt
and then the black man ran off
then i couldn't breathe and shit
i had a gun in my hand somehow
then after a few moments
some senior officer told the dudes holding us up
to loosen a bit
and then all of a sudden the siren went off
"experiment advancing to next stage, all hands stay clear"
was in the PA system
and then omfg
a torrent of this
water
with red things inside it
washed down the hallway
mad torrent
and then the military guys let go and kept telling us to GOG OGO GO!
STAY DOWN
LIE FLAT ON GROUND
CRAWL SLOWLY AND STICK TO THE WALLS
for a while i watched my friend crawl in front of me
he was doing as they were told
he was safe
and he went up this tunnel
i crawled
but i was friggin scared
bit by bit
i arrived up to the tunnel thing
but i slipped
and fell in the middle of the corridor
where i wasn't touching the walls
then that water shit
came all over me
splashed me silly
i felt numb and shit
then i jumped up
and suddenly thought of climbing those pipes
that were leading UP
and forwards
into the unknown
some voice in my head was like
"what are you doing idiot? climb path A!"
i had nfi what was going on
lol
then i kept running along the pipes
till i reached another area
where there were maps and shit
the voice in my head kept telling me
"be careful now, make sure you hop onto the right pipe"
i looked at the map and i figured which pipes it was pointing to
then it was kinda like some teleportation shit
i teleported to the top of some airspace then flew diagonally down onto the pipe
then i started running like crazy
then some evil voice was like
"you can run but you can't hide"
"why are you running away?"
then the original voice in my head was like
"you can win, but you just dont' know how"
then some lava shit
came around me
i yelled out I DON'T CARE
and then i woke from the dream -_-
END OF STORY
lol man
i had a fkn weirdass dream
you know that guy "aishiteru" from bored aussies
lol apparently i was at some uni or something with him
and then
it was at night
we entered the first security door of some building
and then some black man
was a security guard
came in and told us to get out
or something
we ignored him
so we enetered the next door
next thing we know, some military dudes shoved us against the wall with these plastic inflated air bags
and said
listen to orders we don't want anyone getting hurt
and then the black man ran off
then i couldn't breathe and shit
i had a gun in my hand somehow
then after a few moments
some senior officer told the dudes holding us up
to loosen a bit
and then all of a sudden the siren went off
"experiment advancing to next stage, all hands stay clear"
was in the PA system
and then omfg
a torrent of this
water
with red things inside it
washed down the hallway
mad torrent
and then the military guys let go and kept telling us to GOG OGO GO!
STAY DOWN
LIE FLAT ON GROUND
CRAWL SLOWLY AND STICK TO THE WALLS
for a while i watched my friend crawl in front of me
he was doing as they were told
he was safe
and he went up this tunnel
i crawled
but i was friggin scared
bit by bit
i arrived up to the tunnel thing
but i slipped
and fell in the middle of the corridor
where i wasn't touching the walls
then that water shit
came all over me
splashed me silly
i felt numb and shit
then i jumped up
and suddenly thought of climbing those pipes
that were leading UP
and forwards
into the unknown
some voice in my head was like
"what are you doing idiot? climb path A!"
i had nfi what was going on
lol
then i kept running along the pipes
till i reached another area
where there were maps and shit
the voice in my head kept telling me
"be careful now, make sure you hop onto the right pipe"
i looked at the map and i figured which pipes it was pointing to
then it was kinda like some teleportation shit
i teleported to the top of some airspace then flew diagonally down onto the pipe
then i started running like crazy
then some evil voice was like
"you can run but you can't hide"
"why are you running away?"
then the original voice in my head was like
"you can win, but you just dont' know how"
then some lava shit
came around me
i yelled out I DON'T CARE
and then i woke from the dream -_-
END OF STORY
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