Reality Check

Today I had a rather unpleasant feeling.

Although to me it was rather distant and remote, I for the first time witnessed in real life someone receiving a terrible message out of the blue.

From a simple unsuspecting phone call, a day of planned concentrated and highly efficient study transformed into a rather depressing day, though I somewhat question whether or not I have the right to be sad. Having someone you know find out about their friend passing away is definitely not the type of news that anyone would want to hear.

To me, up until today those bereaved of close friends or family due to car accidents was only a part of the ongoing media in the news. It never hit me that something so unsuspecting can happen so suddenly, and turn the world upside down for some people.

I feel guilty and useless in general. I could not say or do anything to comfort, partly due to me not knowing much about the bereaved friend's friend. I wish I was able to do something genuine and not cliche or "the things that anyone does since it's what people are meant to do". How can I be Vincent Ma and still provide some comfort or assistance? I felt really bad. I hope that silence on my part was at least not harmful to this friend's state of mind.

I guess this is also a sort of wake-up call to us all as well. Nobody knows about what is going to happen is the future, full of mysteries, surprises, shocks and unsuspecting news. Today when the home phone rang, I felt a sense of fear, thinking that something would have happened to something I know as well. I really should be prepared for things like these, huh?

The sheer notion and thought of something so unfortunate is unbearable, so I shall stop this post here and now.

Back to exam study...


* * *

As of last night, I managed to something somewhat useful and helpful for that friend, and I could sleep a lot better...

but I still feel somewhat unsettled...

Must concentrate on exam revision...