A Night Worth Complaining

I don't usually do this, but I have to rant. Rushed home all the way via public transport, drove out to get to donation centre 2 minutes late. They tell me to sit down, fill some forms - okay, that didn't take much longer than 5-10 minutes. Then the interview process took forever just because I travelled since my last donation to Korea and Malaysia. Ok, that's fine - then they miss the finger prick spot and had to spend 4 times as long to squeeze enough blood for haemoglobin test. STILL OK. Just to top it off, the lady sat there confused for 5 minutes and then asked another nurse to confirm about the extra tests they need to take. Haven't tipped me over yet. What finally did me in was the fact that the nurse sticks the needle in, then mucks around and twirls with it - THEN has the nerve to tell me that it's not in the right vein (pun not intended) and I am let off. Phenomenal waste of time, did not even get to feed the vampires one drop.

Inspiring Pep Talk + Lame Pun Coon? Yep!

Sometimes when you sharpen a pencil too much the tip snaps - then you just need to keep re-sharpening it and the sharpness will be return. Sure, it may take time and use up some layers of wood on the way - but at least in the end there will still be a point to it. 

- VM 12/06/2012

:)

Recap on Q2 2012

WOW! It's how fast a month can pass without you knowing!

May:

1. S Birthday
2. Avengers
3. Avacyn Helvault
4. Hunger Games
5. Graduation Ceremony - lots of Lolzy photos (chicken salt) 
6. Bro - korean (fail groupon) bbq / movie / teapo / hotpot (stomach ache) / saigo lite
7. CC Dinner 

June:

1. plecan? - Crash crust? - THIS TUESDAY!!!
2. Weights / Bike - need to keep it up
3. DT hotpot
4. Dark shadows
5. Demi bday
6. plan that dinner
7. Phil concert! (missed Heidleberg)
8. [blank slot]

Neglected:

1. Ohmit - pending
2. cow sun - played Dota, but needs IRL
3. new guy - still pending
4. limbert - DD never played - still pending
5. Do Magic Night?
6. HP Books 6 + 7
7. Shoes from Bro - then are under my bed
8. Super Consolidation - CRAP need to do it
9. Guitar - took it out, it is out of tune.
10. Where is the 1.5-1.5 cable? STILL NO EYE-DEER
11. Printer Toner - $79.00 CPL
12. CFA Books / Finance refresh
13. Weights / Bike

Recap on Q1 2012

January

1. Spent new years at Home
2. Played Gundam Extreme Vs (clocked 80+ hours)
   
3. Went on Holiday to HK
4. Shouted extended family a meal
   
5. Hung out with E, D, A, G, Ag in HK
6. Met up with Terry in HK
7. Ivan Farewell
8. Watch Daniel Co. Play cricket, hung with Danny
   

February

1. Returned from HK to Home
2. Started Orientation/Training
   
3. Grinded FF13-2
4. Bought new pants
5. Grace board games
6. Built Gundams SD
7. Stagefright
8. Dinner Catchup in City - Robbie Richo Jenny Vic Law Pjays Anton
9. Susan Bday
10. Yum Cha with Liew Co.
    

March

1. Met up with Alvin in Melb for last time :(
2. Helped 3B proofread report
3. Lunch with friends at work
4. L Started Work
5. Went to see Doc about sleep/sweat
6. Started Orchestra again
7. Tushar BBQ
8. Howie Co. BANG^nanagrams x 2
9. Carmel String Catchup
   

April - Mid April

1. Built Aegis
   
2. Easter = SRW Z2-2
   
3. Mt. Dandenong turned Wrath of Titans #Random#
4. Moved Chips to work daily
5. Video Games Symphony unplugged
6. Badminton with Sandra

Future:

1. S Birthday
2. Avengers
3. Avacyn Helvault
   

Neglected:

1. Ohmit
2. cow sun
3. plecan? - Crash crust?
4. new guy
5. limbert - DD never played
6. 
   
7. Do Magic Night?
8. HP Books 6 + 7
9. Shoes from Bro
10. Super Consolidation
11. Guitar
12. Where is the 1.5-1.5 cable?
13. Printer Toner
14. CFA Books / Finance refresh
15. Weights / Bike
    

Solitary stubborness!

Sometimes I wonder if I am just naive or I really have something magical about my idealistic enthusiasm. Am I just an "all-talk" "no action" type of guy who screams out self-righteous decrees to boost my own ego and self-confidence?

Why do I still stand by my choices and beliefs despite being disliked for going out of my way to be different? I don't know.

Anyway, as long as I am still alive as an idealistic idiot, I hope to remain that way. If I happen to be the last one remaining when the entire world has forsaken me, so be it - I will die and die alone, knowing that I have stood by own my virtues and reason.

This is the solitary path I am walking.

Attrition (did I use this as a subject before?)

As the word suggests, Attrition is currently happening to many areas of my life.

With this new phase finally beginning, it's about time to re-asses some certain things in life. The attrition here is "time". So what I've noticed myself thinking about is:

Where am I? --> Where do I want to be? --> How do I get there? --> What paths can I take? --> Which path would be the best?

I guess I am always a sucker for spending time in spelling my thoughts out, and I don't really know where to start. Currently I would still say i'm transitioning slowly into the next stage, with heavy sorrows as I left behind the previous chapter.

I would not say that I have been off to a good start. Minus the first impressions, it is always said that time will be the test to everything - and certainly it has been testing me so. I am so glad that I have bumped into various people during this latest change of my life - they have given me new perspective and have been indirectly reinforcing the reality that I need to grow up.

What I don't understand is, why am I so afraid of being tested on a results/outcome basis when I have always been able to achieve that? Is it because now the situation is different and I don't have my accumulated experience with me to use? How come I can never feel confident about what I'm doing?

Too many questions.

Too much regret?

On the side line, certain levels of interactivity have been dropping as of late, and I fear that maybe people are finally getting tired of my eccentricities. I know that I am cheap, but I have always felt that there was something else in me that outshined all my negative qualities. If the fact that I will remain cheap causes harm to the friendships that I hold dear then I will really be put into a dilemma.

On one hand, I do not want to throw away my character, my personality which I have been so adamant in maintaining and standing by it. On the other, I realistically assess lifestyle and notice that there is no need for me to spend more than I require - as this is not my source of happiness.

A friend told me to "reward myself" and I do, just not in the way that usual people do. Spending money has never been a hobby or activity of enjoyment of mine. Just being able to get what I want from a humble sense is enough. I never really ask or want more. I fear that if I did ever let myself spend more than I need to - even just once, it would be enough to shake the grounds which my expectations were build upon. From then on, i'll spend more and my standards will increase, meaning that the expenditure will need to keep up with the standards to maintain satisfaction levles. This eventually would turn into a vicious cycle and one day I am going to fall down and hurt myself with the lack of satisfaction that I perceive at the time.

That is why I am afraid. If we spin too fast, we will spin out of orbit and lose track of our original center of gravity.

Anyways, I am probably thinking too much. I just hope that when I wake up tomorrow morning I can feel all energised again.

P.s. I miss you mum, come home soon.